Boob Job: A Post About Lighting.

Every morning, a boob light was the first thing I saw upon opening my eyes. Not the alarm clock. Not my husband's face or even the cat's (okay, sometimes the cat's). The boob light. The cheap, faux brass, $20 boob light. Then: shower and brush your teeth in the bathroom: boob light. Stumble down the hallway: a pair of boobs. Caffeine in the kitchen: boob. Read the paper in the dining room: boobie. Good morning, homeowner!

Good morning, this is the boob speaking

Anyone who has rented an apartment in New York knows about boob lights or "dome" lights. There's a whole post at Apartment Therapy dedicated to boob-alleviation for renters. They are synonymous with "incredibly cheap landlord." One landlord even writes in defense of this plague in the comments, "As a landlord, trust me that its hard to find a decent light fixture that is (1) somewhat neutral, (2) sturdy, (3) not instantly dated, (4) affordable, and (5) not going to be stolen when your tenants leave. That's why you see these things everywhere, including all of our rental homes. And, yes, we call them boob lights too." C'mon, landlords, you can do better (more on that below). But homeowners can definitely do better. Grr! Boob rage!

Chris strips the offending fixtures from the hallway

To me, it's lighting that sets rentals apart from owner-occupied places. As of today, we've replaced all but two of the NINE boob lights in our apartment. Most of these were temporary fixes, but not the lights we installed in the hall:

The Tom Dixon Etch Pendants are the one and only thing I have ever purchased from Design Within Reach, which is most definitely NOT "within reach" for most people. They were a splurge but were on sale (justified!), and in fact it looks like DWR doesn't carry them anymore. I love them because they are ultra cool and modern in design, with digitally etched surfaces that create shadow patterns on the wall, but the brass and shape make them elegant and sort of timeless. Look what happens when you turn them on:

Who needs art?

I love that they've alleviated any compulsion I might have felt to load our long hallway with art. A hallway is the perfect place for them, too, because we don't ever use these lights for tasks or long conversations, where the webbed effect might be distracting, and the space is small enough to show off the effect.

The rest of the fixtures are just plain $7 porcelain sockets holding half-silvered bulbs-cheaper than a boob fixture, for sure, Monsieur Landlord.

But they look a LOT better. This solution came straight from my talented friend Tania, an interior designer who has been a fount of ideas and help as we're fixing the place up, and who used this solution in her own gorgeous apartment.

wide angle lens makes 'em look teeny

Bonus: if you look up you see a mini-convex tour of your unmade bed and yourself in your PJs, not a boob!

hi there!

Note: tired of renovation posts? Stay tuned because the next few posts will actually be about KNITTING! It just so happens that there are three darling baby knits waiting for buttons on my dresser. I'm sure you can see them in the light bulb if you look closely. They're next!

Posted by jess at August 2, 2012 8:19 AM | TrackBack