Last week I told you that our little Catty and I had a harrowing experience at the vet. I didn't say, for fear that saying it would make it happen somehow, that I took her in for a slight limp we'd been watching for a few days and came out with completely unexpected news that she might have bone cancer, which is very, very rare in cats.
Today, after the results of a biopsy, we know that she does have cancer. Tomorrow morning we take her back to the vet for the amputation of her left front leg.
You can see the shaved area and the prick where the biopsy was done in this picture - it's high up on her leg, near what we'd think of as her shoulder joint.
The good news is that before the biopsy she underwent a complete battery of tests, and there is no sign that the cancer has spread. No detectable sign, that is. Osteosarcoma is much less apt to spread in cats than it is in dogs, in whom it is almost certainly fatal. The vet wanted us to know there is no guarantee, however, that she will be cancer-free after the amputation, and I've read conflicting things about survival time following amputation. It will, however, at the very least prolong her life by some unknowable amount and make her more comfortable. Bone cancer, as any human who has had it could probably explain, is extremely painful.
She's been ... subdued over the last several days and is in obvious pain, although in most ways her behavior has been totally business-as-usual: sniff feet, flop on floor and wait for belly rub, snuggle on the sofa while watching a movie, dainty eating and drinking at regular intervals. Just no running frantically, or meet-you-at-the-door, or wrestling with Moses. We know she is uncomfortable despite her unconquerable sweetness and sociability. She is increasingly walking and running on only three limbs - good practice for her future life as a tripod, at least - and curling up for long periods of time in comfy places.
So today is the last day for that leg. Useful internet resources on this point out that pets lack the emotional attachment to limbs that humans have, and that she'll be functioning just fine again in no time. That's reassuring on one level, but then we humans still have attachments even when the limbs are not ours, and aren't even human. Her missing paw will remind me that she may still be sick, that her life may be shortened. This whole episode has prompted a lot of doubts and questions in me, both reasonable and unreasonable, I guess. She's so young and this cancer is so rare - what did we do to make her more susceptible to it? Was it because of September 11? Two of the dogs I had growing up also died of cancer, one in oldish age and one at seven. Is it me? Is there something about the way I live that makes this happen? If we have children, will they get sick too? Will I? Will Chris? If any of those things happen, will I be able to cope with it, given how badly I'm taking the cat's illness?
But, of course, these are not rational thoughts. Catty will be pretty much entirely Catty without her paw, and her illness has made us, and will make us, appreciate every day we have with her (and Moses, too!). She might lose a few more fights with Moses (she's still bigger though) and scratch the furniture 50% less often (not the solution I envisioned, but whatever!), but she's still going to be my special, odd little buddy. Guilt can be self-indulgent sometimes, and can be a distraction from projecting the love and good feeling we have toward others (even animals) as they deserve. Catty's going to need lots of love in the weeks ahead, and we've got to be here to give it to her.
Posted by jess at April 17, 2006 7:35 PM | TrackBackcatty is lucky to have a loving and proactive owner like you. sorry for the loss, but i think catty will be hopping around in no time, especially because she'll be free of pain.
Posted by: melissa at April 17, 2006 8:32 PMAs a devoted owner of two wonderful cats, and a lover of kitties everywhere, I can only express much sympathy regarding Catty's illness and your worried thoughts, and offer many many good wishes for the days & weeks ahead. We're all made of tougher stuff than we'd first thought, though the means of finding out are most often better done without. I'll be checking in on you both.
Posted by: Fanny at April 17, 2006 8:37 PMpoor catty! she IS a special little creature and your love will help her get through this. extra snuggles and belly rubs for her!
xo
Posted by: gleek at April 17, 2006 8:39 PMMake her as comfortable as you possibly can. Let the knowledge that she'll be pain-free help you overcome the loss of her leg. Seeing our fur babies hurting is difficult, but she (and you) will be O.K.
She'll always be a beautiful girl.
Posted by: Karen B. at April 17, 2006 8:43 PMOh my goodness, this made me tear up. I was struck by her photo last time, she is so beautiful. My kitty MiMi has heartworms that could be potentially fatal, or could spontaneously cure.
Healing vibes to your beautiful Catty, and calmness to you.
I wondered if something might be up with her since your posts were loving but a little subdued. I'm so sorry to read about another pet with cancer but I'm happy that the vets are fairly optimistic about it.
I totally understand the irrational feelings of responsibility for a pet having cancer. I think it's normal - we're responsible for these guys so we're going to feel responsible for all aspects of their health even if it's something that's genetic or a result of an environment that we can't control. My thoughts will be with your sweet girl tomorrow. And I hope this takes care of that damned cancer.
Posted by: Noelle at April 17, 2006 8:58 PMOh I'm sorry about your little cat! That's terrible. I just wanted to say not to worry about how you will handle tragic things that might come your way. My fiance and I lost our first child eight months into pregnancy this past year, and let me tell you something like that throws things into perspective! Just enjoy life and roll with the punches and everything eventually will get better :) *love*
Posted by: Sarah at April 17, 2006 8:58 PMBriscoe and Fry send all their love, support, and sympathy licks to you and Catty! I can only imagine how difficult it is to see her in pain. But three-legged cats can get around as well (and as quick!) as the rest of 'em, and she'll be the same sweet girl you love so much. We're rooting for you both over here!
Posted by: Jenna at April 17, 2006 9:03 PMI'm all weepy after reading your post. Wally, our l'il cat, sends his cat-kisses and lots of love. We had a harrowing experience at the vet ourselves last year - something went awry with Wally's intestines and he had to have surgery (for a month's rent, of course). If we'd brought him in a day later, he probably would have died. So I completely empathize with your musings on this topic - the kids thing in particular immediately came to mind. Keep your head up, and I wish Catty the best possible recovery. Meow!
Posted by: abby at April 17, 2006 9:04 PMOh, Jess, I'm so sorry. I had a scare with one of my cats last month and I can only imagine how scary it must be to have this diagnosis for Catty. Julian and Lennon send sweet meows and ear licks to Catty in hopes that her treatment will go well and she'll be just fine.
Posted by: Karma at April 17, 2006 9:05 PMso sorry to hear about your cat!! i hope she gets better after the surgery and she is a lucky cat to have you as the owner.
Posted by: blossom at April 17, 2006 9:29 PMThinking of you and sweet Catty. I was just getting frustrated at my Gwen Kitty for biting my ankles while I was trying to read blog posts....she wants a treat. Needless to say she's getting two and please give Catty a treat from us!
Posted by: Deb at April 17, 2006 9:31 PMDaphne, my own furry cancer survivor, sends her strongest, lovingest health vibes Catty's way, as do J and I. I think the hardest thing is not being able to explain to the them what's going on. But I really believe they trust that we love them and mean them well, and I know she will be especially glad to have you and C and yes, even Moses, around in the weeks to come.
Posted by: Jolt at April 17, 2006 9:32 PMCatty :(
I had the most darling little kitty cat ever, and she got cancer too. I know how hard it is. Hang in there- and give her belly a rub for me.
Posted by: Kelly Brown at April 17, 2006 9:37 PMI am so sorry to hear what you and your beautiful Catty are going though.
My dog (best friend in the world) had cancer, and I too played the guilt games in my head. I even went to the vet alone to try and find answers. It's so hard.
Please keep us updated on your sweet girl!
You will both be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!!
Andre and Stella send warm kitty thoughts of bacon and snuggles to Catty. She (and her loving family) will be in our prayers.
Posted by: Tara at April 17, 2006 9:39 PMI'm so sorry to hear about Catty. She will get through this, as will you. You'd be surprised at how resilient cats (and dogs) can be. We fostered a three-legged cat for a few months, and he was extremely active, a high-jumper who could get to the top of the cabinets (a feat the four-legged cats in the household never even attempted), and very affectionate to boot. His life was not hindered by the fact that he was missing a leg.
Here's wishing Catty a safe and speedy recovery. I really hope she'll be cancer-free after this. All the best to you and yours.
Just delurking to say that I'll be thinking of you and Catty tomorrow, and hoping for her speedy and complete recovery.
Posted by: shannon at April 17, 2006 9:50 PMLongtime reader, just wanted to offer you comfort at this stressful time.. Good wishes to Catty from mine to yours Lily Monster and Norman (both found kitties)
Posted by: cg13 at April 17, 2006 9:52 PMSo sorry to hear about Catty's illness. At least you're doing all you can to make sure she gets healthy and back to her old self soon. Good luck tomorrow and stay tough - Catty needs you right now!
Posted by: Kelly at April 17, 2006 10:00 PMi've said it before, but your catty looks just like our leela.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/cori_w/tags/leela/
only catty has short hair and our leela has medium/long. every time you show her on your blog i have to do a double take because i think 'why is leela on this blog???' looks like catty has just a bit more of white around her nose.
i am SO SO SO SO sorry. so sorry. i cannot imagine. i wish you the best, and will keep you and catty in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: cori w at April 17, 2006 10:14 PMThat's so sad...good for you for being proactive and trying to save her! As an undergrad, I had a cat with cancer, and lots of people thought I was crazy for maxing out a credit card so she could have surgery. I couldn't believe how many heartless people there were out there!
I hope the surgery goes well and that she adapts quickly!
Posted by: Rachele at April 17, 2006 10:15 PM=( Poor Catty- it's really good she won't be in pain anymore though. Good wishes to you and your kitty!
Posted by: Jen at April 17, 2006 10:28 PMOh, Jess! *hugs* for you and for Catty. I'm glad you found out what was wrong and can get it dealt with quickly.
When I was a kid, one of our cats got a leg caught in the fanbelt of the truck and the leg had to be amputated. It was a back leg. It slowed her down a little, but not much - she could still jump and run around and hunt (poor bunnies in the yard) and seemed her same old self. Except for that she couldn't scratch her ear on that side anymore. At least Catty will be able to scratch her ears still!!
Thoughts are with both of you.
Posted by: Chris at April 17, 2006 10:38 PMI'm so sorry to hear about Catty's illness. I hope she makes a speedy and pain free recovery.
Posted by: laura at April 17, 2006 10:42 PMbest wishes on a speedy recovery, and isabella sends catty a special little kitty cuddle.
catty will be purring and prouncing (and pain-free) in no time.
Posted by: jody at April 17, 2006 10:55 PMOh, poor thing. I'm so sorry to hear about her surgery tomorrow. I hope everything goes well for her.
Posted by: jessic at April 17, 2006 10:56 PMAwww Jess,
I'm sorry the news wasn't more positive, but just know you have a ton of support from the online community.
Buster and Niblet send speedy recovery vibes, licks, snuggles, and chases to Catty!
If you need to talk or chat, you know where to find me.
Hugs,
Julia
Jessica, I am so sorry to hear of catty's cancer! How heartbreaking for you (and your partner). Don't blame yourself as you can't control everything in life. You are doing the best for catty now, as you always have, and that's what counts. My much loved dog died of cancer (a year after surgery) so I understand how scary all of this must be for you. I hope the surgery goes well and catty bounces back to 3-legged normal very quickly. Oscar cat and I will be sending our good thoughts your way.
Posted by: Robin at April 17, 2006 11:08 PMOh, I'm so sorry to hear about Catty. She is so lucky to have such loving family & it's been really touching reading about how much you guys care about her.
There is no way it's your fault!! It's probably more like karma handing it over to you knowing you are a loving gentle soul who will care for her and make her comfortable vs. someone who wouldn't. :) She's very lucky to have found you!!
Posted by: Leah at April 17, 2006 11:13 PMSo sorry to hear the news. My sister's cat Buddy has only three legs and he is active and healthy - many wishes for the same outcome for Catty, who is very lucky to have found such a good home with you.
Posted by: KarenK at April 17, 2006 11:30 PMHow terribly, terribly sad to hear about Catty. It sounds like you are making the most humane and loving decisions for her, however heartbreaking they may be. My little kitty cat (Leila) and I are wishing you luck!
Posted by: hb at April 17, 2006 11:41 PMJessica, I visit your blog almost daily and have come out of lurkerdom to wish Catty the best of luck in her operation. With the amount of love you feel for her, she with come through fine. My kitties send the two of you snuggles and purrrrs.
Posted by: Niki & her feline buddies Emma & Sodie at April 17, 2006 11:51 PMI'm all teary after reading your post. Good for you for being positive in spite of the worries - it surely must be tough. Catty's lucky for finding her way into your home and hearts. I'm going to go give my cat a big kiss - we'll be sending the healthy cat karma your way....
Posted by: Amanda at April 17, 2006 11:54 PMlovely miss j,
i'm sending you and c and catty and moses all my happiest thoughts and warmest fuzzies... silly humans for loving our pets so much...
Posted by: heatherfeather at April 18, 2006 12:01 AMAww Sweet Catty. I'm sorry for the worry and concern that you must be feeling for her. She'll be okay Jess. She's so lucky to have such a loving and caring family.
Posted by: Laura at April 18, 2006 12:04 AMPoor baby! It's not you, silly. She'll do just fine, as you'll give her all the love she needs. And you'll be fine, too. But it is hard, they aren't "just a pet", they're real companions.
Posted by: valentina at April 18, 2006 12:07 AMOooh! I'm sorry!
Catty looks very much like our kitty Sake--I would hate to be going through what you're going through. I'm so attached to my Catty. I am sure that she will be okay, especially since you are obviously taking very good care of her.
Good Luck!
Sort-of-lurker emerging to wish Catty and her human and feline companions well with her surgery and recovery. Keep us updated - you'll be in our thoughts.
Posted by: tracy at April 18, 2006 1:15 AMThat's terrible!! I feel so sorry for poor Catty. But you are absolutely doing the right thing for her. How lucky for her that she has owners who care and don't just give up on her and put her to sleep when she develops a problem or becomes "imperfect". I have known many three legged dogs and they truly do get along just fine. Animals can move past bad events in their lives so much easier than humans do.
Posted by: stephanie at April 18, 2006 1:26 AMi'm sorry, Jess. hang in there and take care.
Catty, good thoughts for tomorrow. hope you are trotting about again soon in between snuggles.
Posted by: meowgirl at April 18, 2006 1:38 AMSo, so sorry to hear and I am glad that Catty will be ok. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by: Lori at April 18, 2006 1:45 AMOh, that sweet little angel! I'm sending her lots of meows for a speedy recovery!
Posted by: grumperina at April 18, 2006 1:56 AMJess, Catty will be fine. I'm sure she's a strong cat and has two people that will love and care for her speedy recovery!
Posted by: Angela at April 18, 2006 2:20 AMAs I spent a lovely Easter snuggled up with my dads cats, Spacey and Susa, I just wanted to share a story of good wishes for Catty.
Spacey lost one his hipbones at a tender age in an accident, but after weeks of recovery he compensated bravely for his loss. Today he is an even better hunter than his sister and one of the friendliest, cuddliest cats imaginable.
Do not worry about your worries, they are just a side effect of your great love and care. Lots of love!
I'm so sorry to hear about Catty. I hope the amputation makes you all more comfortable and gives you many happy days together.
Posted by: Patricia at April 18, 2006 6:01 AMI'm thinking about you and Catty... all the thoughts you have running through your head are completely normal and it's good to get them out even if there aren't any answers.
(((hugs)))
Posted by: Aimee at April 18, 2006 6:19 AMPoor Catty, I'm sure after the surgery she'll feel a ton better. Thanks to her wonderful and caring owner. I'm sure she'll make a full recovery.
Posted by: Cathy at April 18, 2006 8:09 AMI'm glad that the vet was able to catch it in time, and that you will still have your sweet Catty around, albeit minus a leg. This post really hit me hard, because I am slowly saying goodbye to my own kitty, Ripley, who after 9 years with my family is succumbing to cancer. I really hope that your Catty makes it through everything fine, and please, don't feel guilt for what's happening. You're doing so much for her, and she can sense it and appreciate it in her own kitty way. Good luck to you both.
Posted by: Kerry at April 18, 2006 8:32 AMI am so sorry to hear that. Hope Catty and therefore you will feel better soon.
Posted by: Jade at April 18, 2006 8:42 AMYou must be so worried, I hope that the research has helped soothe some of your concerns and I'm sending you happy wishes for a healthy, speedy recovery for Catty.
Posted by: Schrodinger at April 18, 2006 9:09 AMAww, poor Catty! Me (and my cats) are wishing her well and hoping that her recovery will be a speedy one...
Posted by: Judith at April 18, 2006 9:21 AMI'm sorry to hear about Catty. I hope she has a quick recovery and feel better soon. Hang in there mom.
Posted by: Suzanne at April 18, 2006 9:51 AMOh no! Poor Catty! She'll do just fine with three legs, though, I'm sure! I just lost my 18-year-old cat last year who also had cancer in one of his legs. But he had a good long life with much love. I can tell Catty is much loved, too. Good luck, Catty!!
Posted by: Becky at April 18, 2006 10:08 AMyou really write beautifully about Catty - one gets a definite and real sense of how you care for her. She will be happier without the pain - even without the leg. Now let yourself be happy, too. Guilt pushes us into the past, and that is not a very Catty place to be.
Posted by: holly at April 18, 2006 10:38 AMYou and Catty are in my thoughts today. You're doing the right thing for Catty and giving him the best chances of a healthy life. *Big hug* and lots of scratches on Catty's ears.
Posted by: Lisa at April 18, 2006 10:41 AMI'm thinking of you and Catty. As a pet owner who is extremely attached to her pets, I can only imagine how scared and upset you are. I hope with all my heart that Catty comes through this with flying colors - please let us know.
Posted by: Stephanie at April 18, 2006 10:47 AMSending best wishes for a speedy recovery to Catty! I hope she is all better and getting around in no time :-)
Posted by: Diana at April 18, 2006 12:09 PMi can't even put into words how much my heart is with you and your Catty today. she is lucky to have such a loving owner so concerned for her well-being. seems like with all that love flying around over there, you all will be just fine in no time. my best friend rescued a three-legged kitty a few years ago, and she rocks strong with her stump...and i just know Catty will too. my thoughts are with you all for a strong, happy & healthy recovery!
Posted by: amy at April 18, 2006 5:34 PMI am the proud owner of a 3 legged cat, and he gets around just fine. He doesn't even seem to miss his leg. I also know what it's like to have a beloved pet be diagnosed and treated for cancer. My dog went through 2 surgeries and chemo this past year. He is doing great, and I hope your sweet Catty will be too. i think it is wonderful you take such good care of your pets!
Posted by: georgia at April 18, 2006 10:03 PMJess,
I hope all goes well with Catty - she seems like such a sweet kitty and you two are such great caretakers! Best wishes for a quick recovery,
Marcela
I don't think I've commented on your blog before, but I had to give my best wishes to the poor wee puss, and reassure you that you're doing the right thing. She will be a lot happier afterwards. One thing I remember from working at a vet's is that you will have to be careful she doesn't put on too much weight - it's an extra strain on an animal with 75% of the joints to spread the load.
Don't feel guilty; you don't have a cancer curse, and unless you regularly drink benzene or juggle uranium, or smoke 200 a day, it's very unlikely to be anything that you do. More ear-scratches to the fuzzy one, and to Moses too (wouldn't want him to feel left out!)
Posted by: Alison at April 19, 2006 5:36 AMMy heart goes out to you and your Catty. I'm so sorry you have to go through all that!
Good luck to Catty, you, and your family. :)
Posted by: heather at April 19, 2006 9:32 AMI came across your blog thru a friend's... my condolences go out to you in this hard time. I have two cats myself, and I can only imagine how heartbroken you are. Best of luck with Catty's surgery, and if you need more information about cat care in general, the support network on www.catforum.com is great... and there's a wealth of info up in there. I also remember that one of the moderators has a tripod kitty too, so if you plug around a bit, I'm sure you can find her and have someone to talk to about how her cat adapted to the loss of a limb.
*sending good thoughts*
rosalynn
Just came across your site while surfing. Good luck with your sweet kitty. Our five year-old cat, Cal, had an eye removed last month, because he had cancer of histhird eyelid. It has been harrowing for us, but he has been great. He is so much friskier now, and having only one eye doesn't stop him from chasing the other cats up and down our stairs at top speeds. We know he has a 50-50 chance of this cancer recurring, but like you, we are keeping our fingers crossed.
Posted by: Linda at April 22, 2006 9:07 AMOur kitty Simon went through a similar experience last summer. Believe it or not, he was up and around within a few days, and I think he was relieved of a lot of pain with the amputation. He's been cancer-free now for 6+ months and is doing fine.
Chin up and good luck!